English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. I know my way around the city but am never sure when I am uptown or downtown especially when the town is laid out east to west.

Look below to see some absolutely ridiculous pairs of numbers that belie common sense. Mom says to her son, " climb down from there." However ever climb means to go up and down means the opposite.