Idiot Number 1
I'm a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at a poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly assured her that ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conservation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison in order to kill the ants. I told her that she had better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.

Idiots Number 2
Early this year some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it out for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the copter was homing in on the emergency locator beacon activated when the raft was inflated. Needless to day, they are no longer employed at Boeing.