1. Coffee (n.) - A person who gets coughed upon.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.) - Appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.) - To give up hope of ever having flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.) - To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.) Impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.) - Describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
7. Lymph (v.) - To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.) - An olive-flavored mouth wash.
9. Flatulence (n.) - The emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.) - A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.) - A humorous question on a exam.
12. Rectitude (n.) - The formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
13. Oyster (n.) - A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish (Hebrew) expressions.
14. Circumvent (n.) - The opening in front of boxer shorts.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.) - The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on a roof and gets stuck there.
16. Pokemon (n.) - A Jamaican proctologist.