Sir Cumference

Puns for the Mind

  1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
  2. I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
  3. She was only a whisky-maker, but he loved her still.
  4. A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
  5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery
  6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
  7. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
  8. A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall. The police are looking into it.
  9. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  10. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
  11. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
  12. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
  13. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
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Sir Cumference