9. When I'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.
10. Kids in the backseat cause accidents.
11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
12. It is hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
13. The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom.
14. If god wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.
15. It is not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere.
16. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
17. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter.
    I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm "here after."
18. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
19. It is a lot better to be seen than viewed.
20. Have I sent this message to you before???...or did I get it from you?