Pocket Calculator

Some Unfortunate True laws of the Nature of Things Page 5

  1. Pocket calculator batteries that have lasted all semester will fail during the math final.
  2. No matter what goes wrong, there is always somebody who knew it would.
  3. If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, then you just don't understand the problem.
  4. If a series of events can go wrong, it will do so in the worst possible sequence.
  5. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
  6. Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows.
  7. After things have gone from bad to worse, the cycle will repeat itself.
  8. The most expensive component is the one that breaks.
  9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
  10. Bargain Basement Principle: The one you want is never the one on sale.
  11. A high paying rush job comes in only after you've committed to a low paying rush job.
  12. Never argue with a fool -- people might forget who's who.
  13. Corollary: If you bring extra batteries, they will be defective.
  14. In a family recipe that you discovered in an old book, the most vital measurement will be illegible.
  15. A surprise monetary windfall will be accompanied by an unexpected expense of the same amount.
  16. Celibacy is not hereditary.
  17. It always takes longer to get there than to get back.
Pocket Calculator
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