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Some Unfortunate True laws of the Nature of Things Page 17
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Washing machines only break down during the wash cycle.
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The possibility of getting lost is directly proportional to the number of times
the direction-giver says "you can't miss it."
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Whenever you cut your fingernails you will find a need for them an hour later.
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Any child who chatters nonstop at home will adamantly refuse to utter a word
when requested to demonstrate for an audience.
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If you have the time, you won't have the money. If you have the money, you
won't have the time.
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If you're wondering if you took the meat out to thaw, you didn't.
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If you're wondering if you left the coffee pot plugged in, you did.
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All great discoveries are made by mistake.
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All inanimate objects can move just enough to get in your way.
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Everybody wants to peel his own banana.
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The most important item in an order will no longer be available.
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The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
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There are two things on earth that are universal, hydrogen and stupidity.
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Your pocket radio won't pick up the station you want to hear most.
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