13. To keep fit my grandmother walks five miles a day, she's 97 and we have no idea where she is.
14. Some people are like Slinkies, not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
15. Two wrongs don't make a right, three lefts do.
16. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
17. She got her good looks from her father; he's a plastic surgeon.
18. Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
19. Two guys walked into a bar, the third one ducked.
20. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
21. The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas.
22. They had lost the art of conversation but not, unfortunately, their power of speech.
23. Pet spiders are cheaper to buy off the web.
24. I used to be indecisive but now I'm not so sure.
25. A broken pencil is pointless.
26. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call what you hit the target.