My Old Chipped Plate

Some Unfortunate True laws of the Nature of Things Page 10

  1. Chipped dishes never break.
  2. If you have to park six blocks away, you will find two new parking spaces right in front of the building entrance.
  3. Only God can make a random selection.
  4. People will buy anything that is limited one to a customer.
  5. Everybody lies; but it doesn't matter, since nobody listens.
  6. People specialize in their area of greatest weakness.
  7. No matter which book you need, it's on the bottom shelf.
  8. There is no traffic until you need to make a left turn.
  9. If it jams -- force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
  10. The simple explanation always follows the complex solution.
  11. If you're early, it'll be cancelled. If you knock yourself out to be on time, you will have to wait. If you're late, you will be too late.
  12. When the going gets tough, everybody leaves.
  13. Things go right so they can go wrong.
  14. If an item is advertised as "under $50," you can bet it's not $19.95.
  15. To err is human, but it feels divine.
My Old Chipped Plate
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