Some Delicous Sausage

Some Unfortunate True laws of the Nature of Things Page 12

  1. People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either one being made.
  2. If you don't need it and don't want it you can have tons of it.
  3. Copying machines mangle only important documents. Corollary: If a machine goes wild and runs off 180 copies, it will do so only when you are copying a personal letter.
  4. Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse.
  5. It works better if you plug it in.
  6. If you don't write to complain, you'll never receive your order. If you do write, you'll receive the merchandise before your angry letter reaches its destination.
  7. If you mess with a thing long enough, it'll break.
  8. If anything can't go wrong, it will.
  9. If you put a spoonful of wine in a barrel full of sewage, you get sewage. If you put a spoonful of sewage in a barrel full of wine, you get sewage.
  10. The more boring and out-of-date the magazines in the waiting room, the longer you will have to wait for your scheduled appointment.
  11. The one who does the least work will get the most credit.
  12. Most people deserve each other.
  13. Everything put together falls apart sooner or later.
Some Delicious Sausage
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