Washing My Car

Some Unfortunate True laws of the Nature of Things Page 13

  1. Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work.
  2. Glory may be fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
  3. A 60-day warranty guarantees that the product will self-destruct on the 61st day.
  4. The tendency of smoke from a cigarette, barbecue, campfire, etc., to drift into a person's face varies directly with that person's sensitivity to smoke. Corollary: If they move the wind will shift accordingly.
  5. Repetition does not establish validity.
  6. The sooner you fall behind, the more time you will have to catch up.
  7. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
  8. When packing for a vacation, take half as much clothing and twice as much money.
  9. If it looks easy, it's tough. If it looks tough, it's damn well impossible.
  10. When all else fails, try the boss's suggestion.
  11. No matter how many alterations, cheap pants never fit.
  12. The more food you prepare, the less your guests eat.
  13. If you know something can go wrong, and take due precaution to prevent it, something else will go wrong.
  14. In America, it's not how much an item costs, it's how much you save.
  15. Never make a decision that you can get someone else to make.
  16. Four-wheel-drive just means getting stuck in more inaccessible places.
Washing My Car
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